Everyday Hustlin'

I've recently decided to put my Spanish on hold to launch a new, more ambitious pursuit: learning Mandarin. I'll be pursuing my MBA next year through an international school, INSEAD, where you are required to learn "proficiency" in a new language as a graduation requirement. This could've easily been achieved with either Italian or French, with which I have prior experience, or continuing my amazingly successful Spanish strategy outlined earlier. Instead, I decided to "go for it" and learn Mandarin. This could be one of the more stress-inducing decisions I've ever made,  but I feel if achieved, will be far more beneficial professionally. Moreover, there is just nothing in this world like someone of non-Asian descent speaking Chinese. It just warms the heart.

As this task was far more difficult than a foray into yet another romance language, I decided the Tim Ferriss strategy would not suffice. I had to get serious, and how else does one get serious than to go on craigslist. I arranged a purchase of Rosetta Stone's Mandarin level 1 via the site. I'm sure in a completely legal fashion, I met a guy named Tariq at a Starbucks near me. He pulled out a massive external HD, plugged it into my computer, and gave me the goods. After using the product all week, and realizing how much better a learning system it is than traditional language education, realized I should probably get Levels 2 and 3 for the longer term (each level I assume will take close to a few weeks). Again, I went to craigslist, and this time met Jose at Bryant Park. Rather than an external HD, Jose gave me a series of CDs to install the software with.

I will get more into how Rosetta Stone works, which I'm still amazed by, but first I need to address Jose and Tariq. The amazing part of these interactions was their absurdly sketchy nature. Tariq brought in the first hit, but once I needed the more potent version, in came Jose. What's more ridiculous, is that I tried sparking up conversations with both of them about learning languages. Tariq indicated he had dabbled with Level 1 in order to "learn to holla at the mami's", while Jose said "I speak Spanish, but nah, havent touched it".  It was a good reminder, that Jose and Tariq weren't involved in the game out of a deep drive to democratize language education for the masses and bring the joy of multiculturalism and global understanding to people everywhere. It was just another hustle.  

Which makes me wonder, how does a hustler choose educational software as his game? Is it just a question of profit margins? Do they slang other software (perhaps gaming, or the hardest of the hard, office productivity software)? Would Rick Ross approve of such a hustle, and has he himself, ever been involved in the nerdier side of the hustling world? Finally, is there a hierarchy of hustlers, and while spending an evening at Larry Flynt's Hustler Club (naturally), do the drug and arms dealers bully the software and pirated DVD dealers?

Damn Fine Cooking

The entire inspiration for this blog was to document different endeavors I am undertaking while laid off (and occasionally rant about politics). Last week I found the ultimate laid-off experience. The class was entitled "The Art of Fine Cooking" and taught by Richard Ruben at the Institute of Culinary Education. I like to eat. From that interest came a love of cooking. This class was five days long, about six hours a day, and between the history and lessons, the professor, the other students, eating a five course meal with wine daily, and getting inspired to go home and cook more, it was probably the best of the free-time activity I've tried so far.

I walked into the lobby on day one and saw a group of relatively attractive middle-aged women assembling. The receptionist informed me "oh no, that's Cooking 101. You're in Fine Cooking down the hall." I continued walking and as I entered the classroom, naturally, was a group of almost all men around 25-60. Not that I expected a crowd of supermodels at a cooking class, but the gender makeup was a bit surprising. Of course, as I walked around meeting people we all came to the realization that over 50% of the class was laid off bankers, including an older English guy I worked with for the past five years (neither of us knew the other would be in the class)! I guess in all these efforts to go out and do original activities I had become the ultimate cliche. The teacher also informed us that until last fall, the class generally had been mostly female, with the 101 class being mostly male. In his words, "half the bankers are laid off and want to really learn to cook. The other half have told their gold-digger wives that the days of eating out every night are over and it's time to learn to boil pasta."

Basically every class consisted of approximately an hour or two of lecture that covered a variety of topics focused on the food we would cook that day. One day we were going to braise lamb shanks and we learned about how the actual process of braising works with regard to the liquid used, how the air interacts, and how different types of meat break down. One day we made souffles and learned that instead of just buttering the sides of the small pans you add sugar, which acts as the rungs of a ladder for the souffle to climb (yes, that is ridiculous to know but I love random knowledge like this). Another highlight was learning how to make compound butter...that stuff if you go to Les Halles or Pastis that they'll top of your Steak Frites with.

The lessons were great, but the teacher made the class. Richard was definitely on the, how do you say, gayer side of the spectrum and started off the class with one sexual allusion after another, and a barrage of attitude-filled hilarious comments. At the end of the first day I turned to one of the older guys in the class, who was a retired steel mill worker who recently discovered a love of cooking, to say how funny I thought Richard was. The only retort was a gruff, "I don't really like his style". Richard's knowledge of a kitchen, technique, and food culture was amazing. What was even more impressive was his self-proclaimed specialization in "food history". At one point I was talking to him about Indian curries and he gave me a whole history of how meat was introduced to Indian spices and curry from when the Assyrians invaded, and then how the Imperial British rule changed the flavors of many dishes. I'm definitely hoping the guy writes a sass-filled book on this stuff some day, and even the steel mill guy was thoroughly won over by week's end.

The class was a pretty amazing composition as well. In addition to the laid off banker crew and the steel worker, there was an awesome older man from Korea named Dean. He didn't really cook much or seem to pay attention, but he had a tremendous smile on his face at all times, took pictures incessantly, and would just get drunk at lunch every day. It turned out that his daughter had a baby recently, and Dean and his wife came to help out. Dean was apparently getting in the way of grandma and mother, so they signed him up for the class to get him out of the house. Now that is childraising we can all believe in.

Roast Chicken with Rosemary Compound Butter (I felt a little sick after this one)

Flank Steak, a bunch of salads, and Richard (center) and Dean (I will let you guess which side of Richard is Dean on)

Braised Lamb Shanks in a Red Wine Reduction

The highest-rising souffle of them all

Nicoise Salad (with fresh seared tuna...a little better than that Cosi version)

How I've Missed You

I have always wondered how many all the political and economic blogs I read are updates so frequently, and then I remember: that is their job. Admittedly, I currently have no job, but nonetheless, distractions are aplenty and it has been many days since I have last updated my obscenely vast readership. It's been a busy few weeks and I'm back to waking up with nothing on the agenda.

Glory Days

Watching a classic movie like the Breakfast Club on a Tuesday afternoon at 3pm is definitely one of the perks of this new lifestyle. I dont think I ever really appreciated just how awesome that scene at the end where the five of them are sitting around and emoting with one another is. A few questions about the movie though:

1) We randomly were shown this in high school yearly during our mandatory "Life Skills" classes. Is that more a statement on the teachers at the time and their lack of preparedness with a curriculum or just the sheer power of the movie?

2) Is Molly Ringwald actually hot?

3) Is Judd Nelson still alive?

4) How many makeovers a la Ally Sheedy, administered by the popular girl, have occurred in real life? I feel there have to have been at least a few documented instances.

5) Do "the kids today" still relate to this movie? And is this movie actually just yesterday's High School Musical 2? And how depressing is that thought?

6) Are each one of us really a brain? and an athelete? and a basket case? and a princess? and a criminal?

7) How awesome is the dance scene at the end of the movie? (and question #2 may have just been answered by Molly Ringwald's awesome dancing)

Mohawk Blogging

Controllerism

Now that I'm no longer one of those "corporate sellout banker gordon gekko wannabe" and have instantly gained all the hipster credibility in the world, Wednesday night I naturally headed out to the Delancey in the Lower East Side, to attend the Warper Party.

I will provide the disclaimer, even with all my hipster credibility, I wasn't exactly invited to this event that is described as a "for us/buy us event to create a community amongst electronic musicians and forward thinking artists in the NY metro area and beyond". Rather, I was shown a website, FreeNYC, by another severance kid, and this event was listed for Wednesday night. A few of us headed over, not knowing what to expect. Needless to say, we were not disappointed.

The first act we saw was basically a singer and guitarist, both dressed as though they were out of Mad Max, who called themselves Prez Powers. The music was okay, but they had two guys, who were wearing hoodies and masks from V for Vendetta, breakdancing as they played, who were both massively entertaining. One of the people in our group was visiting from Wisconsin, and there were definitely those moments where he looked at the rest of us with one of those "is this how you spend your average Wednesday evening????" looks.

What came next absolutely blew my mind. As a big fan of both rock and electronic music, I realized long ago that the two types of artists you really see hero worship towards are DJ's and Guitarists (perhaps a little biased here). I can't count the number of times you hear the word "god" associated with "guitar", and if you've ever seen a big-name DJ perform, the way they control the room is nearly messianic. I have always wondered if any group or band could somehow combine both of these roles. I may have just seen someone who fulfilled this challenge, but even more amazingly, he does it all by himself.

His name was Moldover, and he began the performance with a guitar swung around his back and the most ridiculous electronic contraption in front of him. The music with this insane machine seemed so complicated, yet pleasing, that a few of us were convinced that there was no way it was real and he was just pulling an Ashlee Simpson. He would then alternate, leaving a track playing, and switching over to guitar. His abilities on the guitar were equal to the electronic music creation, as he definitely was shredding in the mode of an Eddie Van Halen. 

I went home thinking it all might've been a figment of my drunken imagination, but after some solid internet'ing, it turns out he actually was a student of guitar from childhood and a grad of the Berkelee School of Music. The electronic contraption he had is one of a number of crazy contraptions he makes, and this whole genre is called "controllerism". Basically, rather than DJ'ing with just turntables and basic mixers, he modifies keyboards and other electronics to allow for much greater control in live remixing. I still really don't know how the fuck any of this actually works, but am definitely going to further research this potential land mine of success.

He also invented something called the Octamasher, which is some sort of collaborative mixing device that allows a whole group of people to simultaneously create music. One thing I absolutely find hilarious about electronic music, if you watch the video below...where else could you find this AMAZING mix of people (Wayne, I'm hoping you're reading this):

And of course, if he becomes popular, I only really liked his older stuff.

Under the Sea

After not leaving my couch on Monday and just watching Mad Men, playing FIFA, and trying to learn "Against All Odds" on the piano, I decided I should get out and get back to exploring the world on Tuesday.

I met up with three other fellow severance kids, and first stopped by a new place called Bagouette on 25th and Lexington. If you're in the Curry Hill area, definitely try out their amazing Spicy Pork Banh Mi sandwich. Yes, I did find out about it in Time Out NY. I dont think I've bought a copy of it since I first moved to the city, but with a cover like "750 cheap things to do in NY" I couldn't resist.

The star of the afternoon, however, was technological and not gastronomical. We went to the Lincoln Square Cinema to watch Under the Sea: 3D on IMAX. As a lover of technology (I did, after all, get really friggin' excited by Bolt Bus wifi) these are two technologies I was totally wrong on. I think it was 2003 that I became convinced all theaters would become IMAX-format after they begin releasing some "normal" movies on them. Of course, this didn't happen. When I was 14, I watched a 3D movie at Universal Studios and could not believe how advanced the experience actually was, with birds seeming to be literally inches away from me. Of course, that was 1994, and we're not exactly living Back to the Future 2 right now. 

I was excited to find this movie as I always loved field trips to the Science Museum as a kid and the IMAX movies that accompanied them. I strongly recommend Under the Sea: 3D to anyone who has the opportunity to go. It's only 40 minutes, and at $16.50 a ticket, not exactly recession friendly, but the movie was unreal. The undersea scenes are just beautiful* (there really is no other word for them) and the music and production makes each cent spent extremely worthwhile. Jim Carry is the narrator, and is extremely normal (not pee on the set Jim Carrey). The visual experience is unparalleled, but I'm not gonna deny, when the closing third of the movie gets into environmental damage and its effects on species, I was definitely transported back to being an idealistic eight year old wanting to save the ocean.

*I will address the general discomfort of guys using the word "beautiful" with regard to describing natural beauty. I will never forget a moped excursion with three male friends in Corfu (a Greek Island) during my semester abroad. We had taken our mopeds out to a cliff and were watching a spectacular sunset over the ocean. As a testament to the sunset's raw beauty, here you had four meatheadish 20yr old Americans abroad waiting to go drinking at the hostel, but there was at least a minute of pure silence as everyone reflected on the scene in front of us. Of course, rather than anyone saying the scene was either "beautiful" or "awe-inspiring", a chorus of "that is fucking sweet" or "goddamn, that is a sick sunset" were the only words uttered.

Corporate Atrophy

I would recommend for everyone, if you're not already, go out and befriend a doctor. After the first two weeks of freedom, between capoeira, more gym-time, and bollywood dancing, I had been hitting the activity bottle pretty hard. I had noticed a recurring pain in my right leg. I was naturally convinced that amputation was the only solution and my life was over. Amazingly, over g-chat, a friend of mine who's a resident in NY seemed to diagnose exactly the problem.

The chat is included below for your viewing pleasure, but basically I have become yet another tragic victim of ITBS (Illotibial Band Syndrome). It is a condition mainly experienced by people running their first marathon, as it is experienced after a "sudden increase in level of activity" and accompanying lack of proper stretching. As a heterosexual, red-blooded American male, naturally I dont stretch properly and after reading a good deal about it, it all made sense. It was a very common condition that can easily be treated with standard running injury treatment (resting, iceing, and stretching).

What I also realized was a major contributor was what I like to call "Corporate Atrophy". Bollywood and Capoeira aside, my body had become accustomed to sitting in a chair for probably 60% of my waking hours. At this point, not only was I way more active, rather than just walking around NYC two days a week, it had become seven and my legs had atrophied to a point to be unable to handle this.

My only word of advice to my newly minted fellow severance kids, ease your entry into this newfound freedom. Relax, sit in a chair a little longer, stretch a little more. Judging by the market this week, that freedom will last a long, long time and you don't want it to be painful.

12:15am me: i think i have a pinch nerve
a little worried
in my right leg
can you diagnose me

Jaymarc: huh, y u think that

12:16 AM
me: dude, my right leg, is kinda bad, i'm trying to deny it

Jaymarc: is it numb

me: there's some tingling and pain, started around my knee, now goes down the outside of my shin
and where my ankle meets the foot kinda

Jaymarc: does it start in the back, is it shooting? get worse with sneezing, or taking a shit?

me: there are long portions it doesnt hurt at all then randomly, like when sitting on the bus, part of my front ankle would feel really tight

Jaymarc: does it hurt afater you walk a while

12:18 AM
me: it started in my hip like two weeks ago, thats the problem, i walk so constantly

Jaymarc: have you been running alot recently

12:19 AM
me: yeah, been running a ton, capoeira

Jaymarc: sounds like IB band syndrome

me: whats that? I'm not shitting, IBS?

12:20 AM
Jaymarc: i mean IT band Syndrome


....and just like that, diagnosis complete. After further checking it out with a doctor and a physical therapist, it is in fact the case. Luckliy this early diagnosis allowed me to still go snowboarding.

Days go by...

It has been a little while since my 'stache post graced the airwaves. My week has been an eventful one, made all the more busy as a whole new influx of fellow laid-off friends have made stepped up my daytime activity'ing. A flurry of posting to follow. Enjoy.

Mustache-blogging

It really doesnt get much grosser than this.....