Man-dating

Note: the next few posts were from a few weeks back. Blogspot is blocked in China and I had a Kansan post the last two entries, but have now left Beijing and am working on catching up on the blog.

June 14th, 2009


Beijing has certainly more than lived up to expectations up to this point. One aspect of traveling I had completely forgotten about was the ease of socializing and making friends while abroad. I planned my trip here with absolutely no expectation or contacts in Beijing, and of course assumed, "I'm gonna just study the entire time and maybe have dinner out a few times." Well, one after the other, friend of friends keep popping up via facebook and word of mouth and its taken this from simply language study to truly experiencing the city.

I imagined this past weekend would have me eating dinner at some Lonely Planet recommended restaurant, followed by some random wandering and heading home around midnight. I'd wake up early and go sightseeing all day long. Well, it turned out someone from my high school had been living here for the past six years and his work in PR allowed him for both an extensive network of both locals and ex-pats, along with knowing a good deal of local bar and restaurant owners. My quiet weekend turned into two nights of three hour-long dinners, drinking at a series of bars, and of course, karaoke (Yes, I did get some sightseeing in).

What I was reminded of from this past weekend was the ease of the "man-date" while abroad. Nowadays, movies like "I Love You, Man" have brought man-dating and bromance to the forefront of pop culture but this is certainly an issue I've thought about since I lived in NYC. I remember my first year there, a good college friend was in town, and his best friend from high school also turned out to be living in the city. We all went out as a result of my friend's visit, and at the end of a great evening, that fateful question was asked, "um dude...this was fun. we should hang out. um...can i, um...get your number?"

Now, this was a new phenomenon. In college your friends are just "kinda there" via classes, dorms, greek life, etc. Suddenly this seemingly intrusive question had an immense utilitarian value. I knew a decent amount of people thanks to an analyst class and other random connections, but I realized that this new, non-school life, might actually demand exchanging numbers with guys you think you might enjoy hanging out with, and yes, go on man-dates with. It became even weirder realizing that the early part of a man-tionship was even similar to dating a woman.

What I've remembered is, man-dating while abroad is an entirely different situation than in your permanent city of residence. If you're out with a group, if you remotely hit it off with another guy in the group, it's totally not gay to ask them for their number. Everyone understands your situation, and, I think helped out by an intense concept of hospitality that's part of the Beijing culture, is extremely willing to hang out or keep you informed with stuff to do. Many of the people I've met are either ex-pats who are downright excited to help you out, or are locals who are of the variety that enjoy meeting westerners. I'm fairly excited as I've been able to experience Beijing the way I would show NYC to any visitor: the West Village or Soho vs. Times Square and the Circle Line. Only one week left and not sure I want to leave.

Other observations:

In total contrast to my entire post above about experiencing the 'local' culture, is the awesome fast food I've been eating. McDonalds has a "Spicy McPork" sandwich, which, I'm not going even begin to compare to a Momofuku Pork Bun, but it's a world better than your basic McChicken. I imagine to a native Chinaman it could be just as bland a taste as the aforementioned McChicken, but damn is it good to me. The fast food highlight has to be the "KFC Peking Chicken Wrap". To those who have had the pleasure of proper Peking Duck at either any Chinatown establishment, or the trader version at Mr. Chows, this is definitely something to be experienced. Hoisin sauce, sliced cucumber, a thin wrap, with flavorful fried chicken strips instead of duck. The Colonel always did kinda look Chinese.

As evidenced by the subject of much of my writing, I've been eating a lot. The metrosexual in me had defnitely been feeling disgusting and I'd decided I needed to exercise in some capacity. The nearest gym was about 45 minutes via public transportation for me so that was absolutely not happening. I decided I would just need to get back into running, but running shoes had not made the cut due to limitations on packing. I went shopping in a mall that had a Nike, Puma, and Reebok store in addition to a few random Chinese atheletic brands. I never thought my size 12 feet would be of a freakish quality, but let's just say, I'm currently the proud owner of a really ugly pair of black Reebok running shoes.