The Island

Picture this: Crystal clear blue water, white sand beaches, cheap but good food and drink, and a place composed solely of young hippies just hanging out. This place does exist, and it is called Koh Tao.

Much like the passengers of Flight 815 and their journey to "The Island", my journey to Koh Tao was somewhat of a disaster. It involved a 1.5 hour ferry ride from Koh Samui that was a horror unlike anything I've ever experienced. The high-speed ferry ride was absurdly choppy and created a situation that was so disgusting, it was almost funny. About 30 minutes into the ride I heard the first heaving vomit from the back of the passenger area. What happened next was unreal. If you've ever seen one of those Family Guy clips where everyone starts puking, this was the closest I think I'll ever get (hopefully) as one person's vomiting led to a chain reaction with at least 20 confirmed vomiters out of maybe 100 passengers. I've never experienced motion sickness before and thankfully avoided it, but as I witnessed lady directly to my right puking into a bag, I definitely didnt feel awesome.



Once we got there, everything changed. The beaches are beautiful, the island isn't overdeveloped, and there's one long strip of beach that has a bunch of bars and restaurants. Each bar has a large outdoor seating area of bean bags and lounge chairs that are full of people, probably with an average age of 22, hanging out all day drinking and just relaxing. At night there are fire jugglers everywhere and all the restaurants open up dance floors. There are fire jugglers and fire limbo and booze is served in buckets. The beaches are that idyllic crytal blue water and white sand you only see in brochures. What more do you need?


Bean Bags on the Beach





Fire Limbo


Fire Jugglers


I don't know if its the sarcastic New Yorker in me, but I was convinced the entire time something had to be wrong. It was just too perfect. I even shared this theory with a number of people we met, and most people almost agreed when confronted with my theory. A few running theories were: the bathwater occasionally literally smelled like crap and some people were suspect as to how sewage is treated on the island. Another guy was convinced that the volcanic nature of the rock on the island somehow was slowly giving everyone cancer. The easy theory was we'd all be the murder victims of Thai drug lords, a la The Beach. Other than that, maybe this really was paradise. Maybe this was a never-never land for the hippie in us all.

.,...and just maybe, The Island heard me questioning its worth, and that's why it cursed me with a perforated eardrum.