Capoeira'ing

Sometimes you have to eat your words. I tend to enjoy making bold statements and have learned the fine art of this practice well. In about 2002 I made the statement repeatedly that "capoeira is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. You would be better off spending that much time learning to hacky-sack". Well, last Saturday I took a capoeira lesson.

First, the statement was made as I was walking around Union Square with a girl I was kinda seeing who personified a lot of what I hate about rich, overly liberal and privileged types. She was one who would talk about the plight of African children yet ignore the poverty that was a few blocks east of her apartment. She went on that day about how "amazingly beautiful the capoeira demonstration was" and how it truly was "poetry of the body". As I tend to be of the cynical variety, I decided I had to take a stand against capoeira. I wont deny that this might have also been influenced by the fact that all the guys were shirtless with six-packs and I probably was hungover and had eaten 2 burgers at 4am the night before.

Anyways, I realized that I want to get in better shape, improve my flexibility, balance, and 'real' strength as opposed to just lifting weights and running the way I have in the past. In the end, I love dancing, am not exactly a fighter, and like music of all types, so capoeira actually seemed a natural fit. I looked up classes and found one at the Alvin Ailey dance school up in midtown west. For those who don't know what Capoeira is, it's a Brazilian dance-type martial arts where two people perform in a circle and essentially improvise a series of acrobatic moves that dont involve contact, but rather avoid contact skillfully. 

Bringing two soon-to-be victims along with me, we went into the class and were greeted by four people in 'capoeira outfits' which are basically ass-tight white pants that I generally find really hot on girls and shirts of varying style saying 'capoeira' on them. The instructor, well, his shirt was naturally sleeveless, and he could be one of the most beautiful people I have ever encountered. It actually became a joke afterwards of how almost absurd a character he was as his English was broken, his muscles were massive, but the guy could also do insane things like spin on his head and do side flips. Of course at the end of the class we found out he could also sing and play this crazy instrument called the Berimbau.

The class was brutal but fulfilling. It was a little nerve-wracking that about 10 minutes into a 90 minute class we did some exercise where you steady your body on your elbows and destroy your abs. This was after doing a series of really slow push-up type exercises and a variety of other crouched type poses. I thought I might have to just remove myself from the class and give up, which would've been a bit embarassing as there were a few somewhat chubby people in the class as well. I've basically realized I have no actual core strength and think my body atrophied after sitting down for seven years.

The class slowly got more fun as we practiced something called a 'ginga' which is the basic side-to-side move that all capoeira is based off of. After a little while one starts actually feeling their balance improving, and starts throwing a little rhythm and sass into their 'ginga'. Of course just as we were getting comfortable, the instructor said "now its time for handstands". Now, I have certainly not even attempted a handstand since I was eight and thought this might end in serious injury. Luckily there was no real pressure to execute a handstand and I just kinda messed around trying to throw my body slightly up. Apparently a lot of capoeira moves are based from a handstand type pose and it's important to slowly develop a proper handstand. Well, we'll see about that, though it would be a cool party trick.

We ended the class in the circle or 'Roda' and the teacher started having people go in and try to engage in capoeira fighting. Of course, when people were apprehensive, he said "ok, ok, I guess I'll participate" and proceeded to do some of the most insane, acrobatic shit I've ever seen up close. I was pulled in for a brief second and threw out some fierce 'ginga-ing' even though I could barely lift my arms.

It's now Wednesday and I think I'm just starting to feel healed from the pain of the class and probably will head back very soon. I will say that over the past few days, when you read about ex-NFL players getting addicted to pain killers, I think I felt a little empathy.