How to Eat a Pop Tart

I've always been a fan of Metrosexual Manorexia, the act of always talking about how you should be cutting back on calories and complaining about 'feeling fat', while still working out regularly and consuming pretty much whatever you want. I believe this general obsession about what I'm eating is the result of a little bit o' chubbiness in my earlier years.

During middle school, the purgatory of schooling, I definitely carried a few more pounds than I should of. While not exactly the type of fat where you constantly breathe heavily, my pants were bought in the "Husky" section (for those who don't know, back in the day there was a size above XL called "Husky").

I imagine this was partially the result of the standard, awkward puberty years, but it was also helped out by an Indian culture that shows it's love through food. Not only is not finishing your plate the biggest insult you could give, but an Indian mother will often show her affection by allowing her child to eat whatever they desire.

Mine was no exception, and a favorite routine of the eleven year old Ranjan was having two Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts before school. Every day.

During this time I perfected a technique to achieve optimal enjoyment from each individual Pop Tart. It has laid dormant for years, but I will share it with you this morning:

1) Toast the Pop Tart

2) Eat the edges off, much as some people cut the crust of bread while making a sandwich.

3) Carefully peel the back, "bready" layer off, maintaing the structural integrity of the front side. This is the most difficult step and should be undertaken with caution.

4) What you are left with is a large piece of hardened frosting, covered with brown sugar and cinnamon, and ideally piping hot from Step #1. What better way to start your day?